Ash

8:24 am, why am I up so early?
You've left already for an early class,
the place where you lay has cooled down...
But I can still smell your hair on the pillow.

Ah, I miss you.
I pick up my phone to see your picture,
and text you: "I miss you already".
How long have you been gone? An hour?
"Is it pathetic?" I write,
"That I am still like a heartsick school girl for you?
Scribbling our names into random sheets of paper..
Missing you even though you've barely gone?"

It's been six years.

And I still blush when you touch my body,
my pride doesn't like you to see me vulnerable.
When will I realize I am always vulnerable when it comes to you?
And when we make love I am completely helpless
as you throw all my restraint to the wind.

I am so in love with you,
I am burning up in your arms
but rather then let go,
hold me tighter and tighter
and sear me to ash.